Why did the chicken cross the road?
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a woolly jumper?
What sits at the bottom of the sea and says rude words?
A diver using bad language.
How do cats go down the M1?
Very slowly, compared to the cars.
How do you get twelve hippos into a Fiat Multipla?
Why would you want to?
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Give it lots of vocal training. But again, why would you want to?
What do you give a sick pig?
What did one ear say to the other?
Nothing, ears can't talk. Only mouths can.
What do you get if you dial 666?
Man: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: I'm very sorry sir, we'll offer you a full refund.
Man: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!
Doctor: Stop wasting my time.
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
I don't wish to know, I don't agree with the crossbreeding of different animals.
What would happen if everyone in the country drove a pink car?
There'd be even more congestion on the roads than there is now.
What did the policeman say when he found three toilets in the road?
I'd better get these moved out of the way before they cause an accident.
Why did the bus stop?
So it could pick up some passengers.
Do you want to hear the one about the blunt pencil?
Copyright © Robert Williams 2003