THE TOLWORTH TOP TEN with Dickie the Vicar

1 MR BLOBBY Mr Blobby

Will the pink nightmare ever be shifted from the top spot? In an age where records come and go like nobody's business, the Blob's success has been bizarre. Number one for the 676th week in a row.

2 PADDY O'LEPRECHAUN & THE BIG PURPLE PENGUIN BAND
Free as a Wombat

Unless you've been living under a rock on Venus for the past few months, you cannot have failed to notice the impact the madcap Irishman Paddy O'Leprechaun has had on the pop scene. The stirring mix of meaningful lyrics and catchy pop melodies have made the boys a firm favourite with all ages.

So I was as shocked as Fred Spiggins down the Working Mens' Club when their latest single only debuted at number two, despite selling an astonishing twelve copies at Barry Groove's Record Shop.

Watch out for their new album, which features such classics as hardcore dance of Tuesday Afternoon, the garage of Nick Nack Paddy Bone Give the Dog a Whack, the indie grunge of I've Got a Brand New Pair of WellyBoots and a touching cover version of Joe Dolce's Shaddap You Face.

3 WILL GATES Unchained Melody

Winner of DMTV's massively successful Pop Idiot (hooray!), this is ten year-old Will's first single release - and what an inspired, original choice of a song to cover!

4 DEREK SNODLAND Stop Living the Truth

Winner of The Road Surfacing Channel's massive flop Fame Nursery (yah boo sucks!), this is two year-old Derek's first single release, a song which he originally wrote when he was just six months old.

5 CHAS AND DAVE Rabbit

No, it's not Dave Presley, though it's an easy mistake to make if you've got your eyes closed. This moving tribute to Chas's favourite animal drops one place in the charts this week.

6 THE CRAZY FROG Oxygene Part XXXVII

Jean-Michel Jarre returns to the charts.

7 PUFF DADDY I am a Cider Drinker

I'm getting very fed up with this bloke who keeps talking over other people's records. But any opportunity to get the Wurzels back into the charts is worth it.

8 STATUS QUO In the Army Now

A disappointingly low entry into the charts from the greatest rock band in the world. Also disappointing to hear they're giving up music and joining the army. I'd have thought they were a bit old for that.

9 RADIOHEAD Snooker Loopy

The miserable lads from Oxford take the Matchroom Mob classic back into the charts.

10 IAN MCCASKILL AND ANNE ROBINSON Hello Goodbye

Good grief...

Here's how the rest of the Top 30 shapes up:

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