IT HAS BEEN announced that actor Daniel Craig has pulled out of the forthcoming James Bond film. However, the most surprising announcement is that Gordon the Gopher is to take his place.

Furry Gordon, former star of Children's BBC, has been out of work for several years, and is delighted to have been chosen to play 007.

"Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak," said Gordon in a remarkably candid interview.

Shooting of the new film commences shortly, and the only concern is that Gordon will not be able to reach the pedals on his Aston Martin. Meanwhile, reports that Mr Blobby is to star as The Terminator in the next film have been denied.