50 Bruce Forsyth's Big Night (ITV 1978) - Two solid hours of comedy, music, fun and games - what could possibly go wrong?

49 Roobarb (BBC1 1974) - Yes, that's just Roobarb, all right, not 'Roobarb and Custard'!!!

48 Doogie Howser MD (BBC1 early 1990s) - An American programme

47 You've Been Framed (ITV 1990-date) - A surprise to see this in the Top 100, we'd have thought it was a little highbrow for DMTV viewers

46 Caught in the Act (BBC1 1992) - The same as You've Been Framed but like a game show

45 You and Me (BBC1/2 1974-95) - It was much better before the UB40 theme tune...

44 Party Political Broadcast (BBC1/BBC2/ITV 1951-2008) - DMTV viewers love these programmes because at last it gives them a chance to go to the toilet

43 Toilets (BBC Choice 2002) - An entire series from BBC Choice all about, um...

42 The Little and Large Show (BBC1 1978-91) - The BBC's answer to Cannon and Ball

41 Cannon and Ball (ITV 1979-88) - ITV's answer to Little and Large

40 Radio Roo (BBC1 1991-93) - A radio station run by a kangaroo, of course!

39 Eldorado (BBC1 1992-93) - Soap opera that was so successful that it ran for an entire year!

38 Castles (BBC1 1995) - Buoyed on by the success of Eldorado, the BBC tried another soap, which was almost as popular, running for several weeks!

37 Albion Market (ITV 1985-86) - The BBC aren't the only ones to come up with successful long-running soap operas!

36 The Paul Daniels Magic Show (BBC1 1979-84) - "And that's magic! Say, 'Yes Paul'!"

34 The RDA with John Gordillo (BBC Choice 2000-01) - Don't tell me you've never heard of it?!

33 The Dog and Dinosaur Show (BBC Choice 1999-2000) - Don't tell me you've never heard of it either?!

32 The Grand Knockout Tournament (BBC1 1987) - The same as It's a Knockout, but with members of the Royal Family. What's not to like?

31 Perry Como Music Hall (BBC 1959-61) - "Magic...moments..."

30 Wizbit (BBC1 1986-88) - Hey, let me tell you about Wizbit, now he comes from the planet of WOW...oh, you know already

29 Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps (BBC2/3/Choice 2001-date) - Now the only remaining programme on BBC3

28 Nothing was voted into 28th place

27 Come Back Mrs Noah (BBC1 1977-78) - Croft and Perry's greatest moment, according to that infallible barometer of quality, the DMTV viewership

26 Plaza Patrol (ITV 1991) - Even better than Come Back Mrs Noah, Cannon and Ball played security guards (of course!) in this sitcom

25 Ratman (BBC1 1987) - Roland Rat playing a superhero! Plus Kevin the Gerbil as Pink Bucket Man

24 Triangle (BBC1 1981-83) - More high quality drama from the BBC

23 Pages from Ceefax (BBC1/2 1983-date) - Great music and great information

22 Paul Daniels's Secrets (BBC1 1984) - What could they be?

21 The One Show (BBC1 2006-date) - Officially the worst title for a programme ever? That didn't bother DMTV viewers, yet it just missed out on the Top 20

20 A Demonstration of Carving (BBC 1936) - Mr B J Hulbert's guide on how to carve a turkey for Christmas is still fondly remembered by DMTV viewers

19 Chucklevision (BBC1/CBBC 1987-date) - Chucklevision is number 19 in the Top 100 greatest shows of all time!/It isn't!/It is!/It isn't!/It is!/Is it?!?!?!

18 My Hero (BBC1 2000-06) - DMTV viewers adored this sitcom, especially the baby with an adult's mouth superimposed on it - not at all creepy!

17 The Krankies Elektronik Komik (BBC1 1985-87) - Fan-dabi-dozi!!!

16 Gamerweb (Friendly TV 2003) - Incisive computer game review programme from the home of quality television, Friendly TV

15 Brain Box (Friendly TV 2003) - Interactive quiz game with presenters when they could be bothered to turn up, from the channel that made DMTV look professional

14 Panorama (BBC1 1955-date) - Weekly light-hearted entertainment

13 Noel Edmonds' Lucky Numbers (BBC1 1978-79) - Hard-hitting current affairs analysis

12 Children in Need (BBC1 1980-date) - Top-notch entertainment that helps out kiddies - how can it be anything other than a winner?!

11 Christmas Morning with Noel (BBC1 1984-88) - Originally titled The Noel Edmonds Live Live Christmas Breakfast Show, starring Noel in the Telecom Tower and Mike 'Smitty' Smith in the 'hollycopter' until Noel disowned him

10 The Roger the Dog Show (BBC1 1983) - The all-time greatest children's show, according to that bunch of cretins, the DMTV viewership, starring ventriloquist Roger the Dog and his puppet Ward Allen

9 The Noel Edmonds Saturday Roadshow (BBC1 1988-90) - DMTV viewers' fixation with Tidybeard continues

8 The Weather (Many channels 1954-date) - The weather forecast is brilliant! It tells you what the weather's going to be IN THE FUTURE!!! No wonder DMTV viewers voted for it in their droves!

7 Noel's Christmas Presents (BBC1 1989-99) - The replacement for Christmas Morning with Noel when Noel decided he'd had enough of giving up his Christmas morning every year, so instead he turned to giving special gifts to those less fortunate than himself, which doesn't narrow it down much, of course

6 Opening of the BBC Television Service (BBC 1936) - The first programme ever! By default, not therefore the greatest? No, for some reason DMTV viewers thought there were five better programmes than this succession of speeches by Major the Rt Hon G C Tryon, Mr R C Norman and the Rt Hon Lord Selsdon

5 Noel's House Party (BBC1 1991-99) - Tidybeard strikes again! Best remembered for giving us the spectacle of DLT going apoplectic with rage on receipt of his Gotcha, and inflicting Mr Blobby on the world

4 Quiz Bingo (BBC1 1969) - The fourth best programme ever to hit our screens is this sixties game show hosted by Jimmy Savile... "Now then, now then, howzabout then, eyes down for a full house, guys and gals..."

3 Newsroom South East (BBC1 1989-2001) - News round-up for London and the South East

2 The Queen (BBC1/ITV 1955-68, 1970-date) - It would have been nothing short of a national scandal if Her Majesty the Queen had not appeared around the top end of the chart with her annual Christmas message

1 Test Card F (Many channels 1967-date) - The runaway winner! Featuring the most seen person on telly, Carol Hersee, is DMTV viewers' favourite show of all time! But even after more than forty years, we still haven't found out who won the noughts and crosses...

Back to numbers 100-51

Copyright © Robert Williams 2011