WELCOME TO THE BIZARRE WORLD OF DES AND MICK
Des and Mick, that's them on the bottom right of the picture, with their friends. They are the stars of some mildly amusing stories I write now and again.
The Chronicles of Des and Mick was launched back in 1991 (for the full story of how they came to be, click here). Since then I have written 18 volumes of the chronicles, each containing nine stories. The tone is decidedly comedic, not to be taken too seriously, and has even been known to veer towards self-parody.
I can guarantee you will never have read anything like this before!!
Clive beats Des and Mick to become the first man on Mars - maybe...
ABOUT THIS WEBSITE
This website will introduce you to the world of Des and Mick. It includes profiles of all the characters, complete with colour pictures, and a chance to read a selection of stories taken from the ever-growing Des and Mick archive. This section is updated on a regular basis, so there will always be fresh stories to read here.
Mick, Wayne and Clive (rear seat) and Des (with fake handlebar moustache) and Mike the Manic Mechanic (front seat) enter the London to Brighton veteran car run in a very unusual vehicle.
ABOUT DES AND MICK
The Chronicles of Des and Mick is very much character-driven, with totally ridiculous and unrealistic plotlines about a bunch of people with too much time on their hands.
For example - Des and Mick and Des's Pet Slug, Des and Mick Go Caravanning, Des Redevelops His Garden, Des and Mick Investigate Corn Circles, Des's Supersonic Car, Des and the Talking Teddy Bears, Des Gets Funky, Des and Mick Go Banger Racing, Elvis is a Dangerous Man, Des Sees the Future, Men on Mars, DMTV and around 140 others.
Des Wednesday and Mick Woolley are next-door neighbours who live in an ordinary suburban street in Tolworth, Surrey, UK. Mick would probably be living a nice quiet ordinary life if it wasn't for having Des the lunatic living next door to him. Des has a nasty habit of coming up with mad ideas, which, however hard he tries, Mick always manages to get mixed up in.
But then it gets worse. Just across the road lives Wayne Coach the window cleaner, who has a mental age of about four. His main purpose is to make Des look clever.
Well someone had to play the Easter Bunny!
On the other hand, making Des look extremely stupid is his other next-door neighbour, the smarmy Clive Kippers. The BMW-driving Clive is always ready to slip in a snide comment, and usually manages to be right when Des is wrong. They are sworn enemies.
Just down the road, on the corner, is Mrs Greasy's Little Cafe. Mrs G is known across the area as the worst cook in the world, yet she still can't understand why no one ever comes to her cafe, except for the regular gang who hold their regular meetings there while trying to avoid eating the revolting rubbish she serves them (except Wayne who loves it).
The above characters comprise the main core of the stories, but there are several other characters who make regular appearances, including the barmy pig farmer Farmer Files, Mike the Manic Mechanic, Dickie the Vicar, Elvis-impersonator Dave Presley, and Des's busybody Aunty Phyllis.
Making more occasional visits are the defective detectives Sherlock Bones and Doctor Whoson.
At last - it's the big Elvis comeback! Might be his brother, though...
ENOUGH OF THE WAFFLE
Well congratulations for getting this far. At the top of this page is the menu where you can navigate round the various sections.
Don't forget to sign the guestbook! Any comments, questions or suggestions about this website are welcomed, even if you just want to say hello; alternatively you can send me an e-mail. And do visit again soon, as I will be placing more stories on the site in the near future.
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ALSO ON THIS WEBSITE...
The online service of Des and Mick's spoof television channel
Bits and pieces about UK television and radio
Copyright © Robert Williams 2000-2001