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Here is a selection of stories from the last nine years, and eighteen volumes, of The Chronicles of Des and Mick. I will be adding more stories from the archive in the near future, so visit again soon.

Last updated: 16 January 2001


The Birthday Bear

Written in 2000

This is the hilarious tale of when, while Des and Mick are shopping in town, Mike the Manic Mechanic lumbers them with a huge stuffed bear which he intends to give to Mrs Greasy for her birthday. He asks them to drop it round his garage, but that's only the start of their problems...


The Celebrity Bus

Written in 2000

Des has decided to buy himself a double decker bus - which soon takes on a brand new identity as a bus that only carries celebrities, so that Des can charge them more.


Clive's Brother Comes to Visit NEW!!

Written in 1998

Clive's hated brother, Eugene, is visiting the area, and he is everything Clive isn't - kind, complimentary and generous. He's also a highly successful businessman. Clive is obviously fed up being upstaged like this, but this is nothing when he discovers the real reason for his brother 's unusual visit.



Written in 2000

Des has just remembered it's the year 2000 - so why hasn't he got his own personal robot yet? To rectify the situation, he commissions Mike to build him his very own household friend - RoboDes!


Des and Mick Go Caravanning

Written in 1999

Classic Des and Mick. Des buys a caravan, and so the obvious thing to do is go on a caravanning holiday in Wales. It seemed like a good idea at the time, if only they had any idea for what to do on a caravanning holiday, and if the caravan was in a fit state to last the journey.


The Millennium Party

Written in 1999

So how did Des and Mick celebrate the dawning of the year 2000? Des decides it would be a good idea to hold a special party, and to build his own dome in which to hold it. But is it actually the end of the millennium yet? Clive thinks otherwise.


The Statue

Written in 1996

Aunty Phyllis asks her husband Ralph and Des to clean her priceless statue of Leonardo da Wednesday . They enlist the others to help them, with the result that the statue soon ends up in little pieces all over the garden. Phyllis will be back from shopping - and so it falls to Clive to stand in for the statue...


The Petrol Crisis

Written in 2000

Find out how Des and Mick coped with the recent petrol shortage. The gang drive to the continent to fill up, while Wayne, who's been blockading his front drive, strikes oil in his garden.



Written in 1999

The explosion of digital multi-channel television prompts Des to launch his own channel. Despite the lack of enthusiasm from the others, Des constructs an entire schedule of highly original and innovative shows for them all to present. Plus you can visit DMTV Online!


The Car Boot Sale NEW!!

Written in 1997

Des is having a major clearout, but instead of throwing away his worthless old rubbish , he decides to hold a car boot sale instead. The others join in as well, including Ralph who is foolishly trying to sell Aunty Phyllis's priceless painting...


Des Sings for Eurovision

Written in 1997

Des is asked to represent the United Kingdom in the Eurovision Song Contest. The problem is that Des can't stand the song that has been chosen for him to sing, 'Muppet in a Sling'. The other problem is, he can't sing.


The Canal Boat

Written in 1996

In another irrational moment, Des has bought a canal boat. He has it sitting in the garage, but Mick suggests taking onto the water. Not a good idea, considering the poor condition of the boat. Unsurprisingly, no one remains dry throughout the trip.


Competition for Mrs Greasy

Written in 1994

Mrs Greasy is distraught - a rival cafe has opened opposite and stolen what custom she ever used to have. Various schemes are tried to win back customers, including a facelift for her cafe, leaflets distributed around the area, cabarets, special offers and raffles. But there's only one thing that will work...


Elvis is a Dangerous Man

Written in 1998

A large character in a jumpsuit and shades is featured on 'Crimewatch' after committing the heinous crime of stealing two Mars Bars and a packet of marshmallows from a local sweet shop. The problem the police face is, why do so many people living in the area seem to look like Elvis?


Chocolate Biscuit Man

Written in 1995

Des and the gang are dressing up as superheroes to patrol the local streets, fight crime and put wrong to right, all wearing their underpants over their trousers. Mick tries his best to have nothing to do with them, but then even he requires their assistance...


Des and Mick Attempt to Run the London Marathon

Written in 1997

Clive, in an attempt to get his own back on Des and the others, has entered them into the London Marathon. However Des's intervention means that this is no ordinary marathon - most of the runners are heading up the M1 and so Des actually wins...


The Football Match

Written in 1996

The crew form a football team, called the Tolworth Dipsticks, to enter into a local league. The trouble is, none of them know how to play. The half-time result of their first match is 57-0. There looks like no hope for the Dipsticks in the second half, until Des reveals his secret weapon.


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