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Character Guide

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About Me

Above, left to right: Des, Mrs Greasy, Wayne, Clive, Mick


Des and Mick, that's them up there, with their friends. They are the stars of some mildly amusing stories I write now and again.

This website will introduce you to the world of Des and Mick. It includes profiles of all the characters, complete with colour pictures, and a chance to read a selection of stories taken from the ever-growing Des and Mick archive. The tone is decidedly comedic, not to be taken too seriously, and has even been known to veer towards self-parody. I can guarantee you will never have read anything like this before!!

The Chronicles of Des and Mick is very much character-driven, with totally ridiculous and unrealistic plotlines about a bunch of people with too much time on their hands.

For example - Des and Mick and Des's Pet Slug, Des and Mick Go Caravanning, Des Redevelops His Garden, Des and Mick Investigate Corn Circles, Des's Supersonic Car, Des and the Talking Teddy Bears, Des Gets Funky, Des and Mick Go Banger Racing, Elvis is a Dangerous Man, Des Sees the Future, Men on Mars, DMTV and around 150 others.

Des Wednesday and Mick Woolley are next-door neighbours who live in an ordinary suburban street in Tolworth, Surrey, UK. Mick would probably be living a nice quiet ordinary life if it wasn't for having Des the lunatic living next door to him. Des has a nasty habit of coming up with mad ideas, which, however hard he tries, Mick always manages to get mixed up in.

But then it gets worse. Just across the road lives Wayne Coach the window cleaner, who has a mental age of about four. His main purpose is to make Des look clever.

On the other hand, making Des look extremely stupid is his other next-door neighbour, the smarmy Clive Kippers. The BMW-driving Clive is always ready to slip in a snide comment, and usually manages to be right when Des is wrong. They are sworn enemies.

Just down the road, on the corner, is Mrs Greasy's Little Cafe. Mrs G is known across the area as the worst cook in the world, yet she still can't understand why no one ever comes to her cafe, except for the regular gang who hold their regular meetings there while trying to avoid eating the revolting rubbish she serves them (except Wayne who loves it).

The above characters comprise the main core of the stories, but there are several other characters who make regular appearances, including the barmy pig farmer Farmer Files, the lunatic Mike the Manic Mechanic, Dickie the Vicar, Elvis-impersonator Dave Presley, and Des's busybody Aunty Phyllis.

Making more occasional visits are the defective detectives Sherlock Bones and Doctor Whoson.

Des and Mick were created on 11 September 1991, purely for one piece of English creative writing at school. In that story, simply titled Des and Mick, Mick finds himself sacked from his office job, so he Des embark on an epic journey around Britain, but don't actually get very far. I later chose it to be included as part of my GCSE coursework! But then I realised that there was plenty more scope in the characters I had created, so I decided to continue writing stories for fun. That original story, along with eight further stories, formed the first volume of The Chronicles of Des and Mick in 1992. Before long the original duo were joined by more characters, and the 'gang' element became firmly established. Since then I have written between one and three new volumes each year.

The Chronicles of Des and Mick have now been going for nearly ten years, eighteen volumes and over 160 individual stories; and they appear set to carry on well into the next millennium. Crikey, what a thought...

Enough of the waffle - at the top left of this page is the menu bar where you can navigate round the sections. Don't forget, also DMTV Online where you can find out about the gang's own television channel. And remember, old jokes never die - there's always a home for them in Des and Mick!

hits since 17 August 2000

(Approx 1100 hits between January and July 2000)

Copyright Robert Williams 2000-2001