Mike the Manic Mechanic


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2 February 2019 3.25am

I'M IN THE MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe my luck! I've had an e-mail from Princess Isabella Kajagoogoo of Nigeria, and in return for sending her nine old episodes of 'Professor What', she's going to transfer $3,000,000 into my bank account!! WOOOO-HOOOO!!!

12 October 2013 9.32am

Clive Kippers
Oh dear...
Mike the Manic Mechanic
I've given an exclusive interview to DMTV News! Check it out here:
Mrs Greasy
I hope Des doesn't read that article!
Des Wednesday
I have read it, but it's okay, because I don't understand it.


Who's going to be checking out the new Harry Potter film? I hear it's the last one EVER!!!

16 July 2011 6.24pm

Des Wednesday
Doesn't interest me, all I know about the Harry Potter films is that there's a bloke called Barry Potter in them.

Did I hear right??

Des has bought Channel 5???????????

24 July 2010 12.16pm

Des Wednesday
Yes it's true!!

Is this true?

All Porky Pig cartoons are to be banned??

2 May 2009 5.23pm

Mike the Manic Mechanic announces nationwide search for his Best Man!

Mike the Manic Mechanic has today announced the launch of a nationwide search to find the Best Man for my wedding! If you fancy your chances, please meet me at my garage this Tuesday morning, where a series of challenges will be held to determine who is the best Best Man!! Remember though, you can only apply if you're a man, for obvious reasons!!!

6 December 2008 11.08pm

Mrs Greasy
How chauvinistic!! Who says the best man has to be a man?! Let me tell you we're living in the 20th century, now, Mike the Manic Mechanic!! I would like to confirm that I will be amongst those competing for the right to be your best man!!
Mrs Greasy
Ha, ha, I won!! I'm Mike's best man!! And I won a cuddly toy as well!!
Des Wednesday
What a stupid bunch of challenges. I took part this morning, and we had to do the potter's wheel, drive a pedal car round some cones and then do a performance with some Scottish guards or something. And Mrs Greasy won!! How ridiculous!! Here's what happened:

Mike the Manic Mechanic announces his engagement!!!

Mike the Manic Mechanic revealed to the world's press this morning that he and Trendy Tracy from the laundrette are engaged to be married!!! It is planned that the wedding will take place as soon as possible on the track at Brands Hatch!! How exciting is that!!!!

25 November 2008 10.43pm

Des Wednesday
World's press?? More like me, Mick and Wayne in the cafe this morning. Are you sure you're doing the right thing?
Mike the Manic Mechanic
Course! Of yes, by the way, change of plan, Trendy Tracy is insisting on a church wedding. Cor, how boring!! (No offence, Dickie).
Dickie the Vicar
None taken!


Never mind Led Zeppelin, the big rock news of this week is undoubtedly the sensational announcement that my band, Mike and the Mechanics X, are to play a reunion concert next Saturday night!! Tickets are already selling like hot cakes, and are at present going for as much as £500 each!! So don't delay, call me on my mobile right now and get your ticket for what promises to be the GIG OF THE CENTURY!! It all kicks off next Saturday night in the park (if wet in the church hall).

14 September 2007 5.59pm

Des Wednesday
How can you be holding a reunion concert, you haven't even split up!
Mike the Manic Mechanic
So we can charge more for the tickets of course!
Des Wednesday
Oh... Well it's a shame your tickets only sold like hot cakes, me and Mick and Wayne tried selling hot cakes once, and it didn't really go all that well:

Live Earth

Big apologies to everyone who was hoping to see myself and my band Mike and the Mechanics X play Live Earth today but sadly we were unable to make it due to unforeseen circumstances (thanks a bunch Farmer Files!)

7 July 2007 11.57pm

Des Wednesday
YOU were supposed to be playing Live Earth at Wembley Stadium?????
Mike the Manic Mechanic
Naaah, Live Earth at the garden centre!!

Mrs Greasy and her strange requests!

I can spill the beans now - that barmy Mrs Greasy was after none other than a life-size replica of her cafe, life-size replicas of Des and Mick's houses and a life-size replica of the church hall!!!! Cor blimey, she don't want much, does she?!?!?!?! Quite what the nutcase wanted them for, gawd knows, but I was happy to oblige! I don't half get some strange requests from this bunch of loons but this really takes the biscuit!!!

Talking of biscuits, I'm getting hungry! Time for a 1.37am snack me thinks!!!

30 May 2007 1.37am

Clive Kippers
I don't care what she's after, all I care is that she didn't want to build a life-size replica of my house! Not only that, she, Des and Mick have all vanished!! Things are looking up!!
Clive Kippers
And what time do you actually go to bed, Mike?
Mike the Manic Mechanic
What is this, twenty questions???!!!???!!!??!!

I'm back!!!

Sorry for not 'blogging' for a while, but I've been stuck in hospital for the past week with RSI, whatever that is. All I know is I've had these pains in my wrist and neck, don't know how I got them, but don't worry, I'm fine now! Anyway, got to go, I've just checked my inbox and there's about twenty e-mails from Mrs Greasy! What on earth does she want?! Doesn't she know I don't DO mopeds?!

14 May 2007 10.34pm

Hi there!

Not much too say today, spent all day on Clive's laptop again down- loading empy threes of my new single, 'Llangollen Calling', to ensure it hits the charts on Sunday and holds onto my band's record deal!! Don't panic if you're after a tasty Fast Ford from my garage, Mike's Manic Motors, my nephew, Mick the Manic Mechanic (not to be confused with the 'other' Mick!!) is holding the fort!! To be honest, he's not very good, and he'll probably sell you a spark plug when you ask for a Ford Capri 2.8 Injection, so if he does, just give him a clip round the ear from me, will you? I must admit, I actually sacked him once last year, well that was after he gave away the location of my secret factory to Des where I was building my very own car, the Medford Maniac! Did I ever tell you about that? The world's only car that could travel faster than light!! Sent me back in time ten years! Doctor Who's got nothing on me! You can read the whole story here: www.desandmick.co.uk/chronicles/volumes/26/8/

What's strange though is that my greatest triumph seems to be forgotten by all the others whenever I remind them about it they don't seem to have any recollection of what happened that day!

By the way, if you've already bought a copy of Mike and the Mechanics X's new single, 'Llangollen Calling', for goodness sake go and buy another one! I've got to make that Top 200 on Sunday!!!!!!

25 April 2007 11.11pm

About me

Hi there! I'm Mike the Manic Mechanic and I run Mike's Manic Motors, Tolworth's premier outlet for quality used Fords available at surprisingly competitive prices! I also do servicing and MOTs, so if you're after a quote just ring me on the usual number or pop down in person. (By the way, I would like to remind you, Des Wednesday, that I DON'T ..DO.. FIATS!!)

I also play in Tolworth's most successful rock band, Mike and the Mechanics X, and our new album, Nevermind the Pillocks Especially Des is now available at Ray's Records in the High Street! Please buy it...please!!!


Mike and the Mechanics X!

Speed! Herbie Rides Again!

Top Gear! Fifth Gear! The Fast Show!

Rupert Annual 1971!

Jeremy Clarkson! James May! Richard Hammond! Dickie Davies!

Wayne Coach
allo mikey its yer old mate wayne here
Des Wednesday
Has anyone actually seen Mechanic the Mike Manic recently?
Clive Kippers
He's back now, in case any of you hadn't actually noticed.