Phyllis Wednesday (Volumes 1, 2, 7-10, 12-15, 17, 20, 21, 32)

Phyllis is Des's busy-body aunt, who brought him up until he was sixteen. Phyllis demands absolute perfection - all males must wear a tie, haircuts must be symmetrical, grass must be the same height throughout the garden, and her house spotless. She married Ralph Berkshire in 1994, having found a man subservient enough to do all the housework and carry her shopping. They divorced four years later when Ralph attempted to sell Phyllis's priceless painting, a family heirloom.

Phyllis Wednesday appears in the following stories: